Sunday, February 14, 2010

Pee-Pee Panties Saves the Day (Hannah)

My morning began like any other. I arose very early in order to avoid the chaos that my arched nemesis' N & S love to create in my very orderly world. On my agenda was: 1. bring social cohesion to the Middle East in 300 words or less, and 2. inform the countries of NATO why their enlargement process, while noble, was endangering international security in 750 words or less. Check. The world was safer by 9 a.m.
11 a.m. My run begins like any other. Yet, unbeknowest to me, my running partner is experiencing pain in her quad. We go 3 miles into our run, and her leg becomes too painful to go any further. (Cue melodramatic music.) We decide we must turn back. But the temperature is very cold and we fear we may freeze to death before we make it back to civilization, or at the very least, be very uncomfortable. so the hard decision is made that I, pee-pee panties, must leave my buddy behind and run and retrieve the car before it is too late.
Of course every good story must have a conflict, and here is ours. My car keys were locked in Laura's car. and the only way into her car was with a combination. We all know that every superhero has a weakness, including me. My kryptonite is forgetfulness.
Would i be able to remember the 5 random numbers that so much hope was hinging on? I wasn't sure. But as I took off into the bitter, cold, barren landscape of the Ramstein flight line, I repeated to myself *63096 over and over (cue inspirational music).
The run back was much more difficult than I was prepared for. I was running into a very strong and cold wind that was blowing snow into my face and down my shirt. I'm a mortal superhero so I experience all the senses of a human. My legs were tired and my fingers were frozen. But i was determined to save my friend.
And when I finally made it to the gym parking lot, i was still repeating- 63096. I was also beginning to worry. What if Laura suffers from the same affliction I do. Because let's face it, if the tables had been turned, and I was the one forced to be rescued and had to give my combination out, there would be zero hope of rescue. I doubt I would even be using the combination. Probably just a key. I don't know my cell phone number, my post office box combination, or my account number. There is a good reason for this though, I'm too busy saving the world.
But Laura came through and the combination worked (cue triumphant music). I grabbed my keys, and sped off through the parking lot, hoping that I wouldn't find my friend laying half frozen in a snow drift. Thankfully, I arrived in time. She climbed into the car, and I then proceeded to take 5 minutes to get my car turned around in the middle of the road. My zero-turn radius Volvo is not conducive to superhero rescues. I must inform the sidekick that I need a new ride.

*Numbers changed to protect Laura's car.

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